Do you have been in a relationship with a narcissist? You know it’s not hard to trigger a narcissist to lash out because whenever they feel themselves at a weak place, their first line of defense is to punish others. They are the people who can make others feel defeated, frustrated, and disheartened in their lives with their actions.
In terms of self-preservation, narcissists are natural manipulators. And know how to get what they want by evoking emotions. It’s not always intentional, but manipulative behaviors affect making other people do what they want. You should study the tactic and behavior that narcissists use to defend against them, even if you deeply care about the person you’re with.
It doesn’t matter how long you stay in a relationship with a narcissist; our goal shouldn’t be to piss off a narcissist for no reason other than revenge but to highlight those actions that trigger their weird behavior.
Note: You should never waste your energy on fixing all things as it will affect your overall mental health, and you could find yourself helpless during the journey.
So to help you out, we are here with a fix of how to make a narcissistic miserable.
How to Make a Narcissist Miserable?
When you’re with a narcissistic partner, when you’re with them, there are ways to deal with them. It can be hard to cope with relationship problems without help from a therapist. You might be able to grow in therapy if you’re having relationship problems in addition to identifying stressors, putting your own needs first, and improving sleeping.
1 Lack Of Acknowledgment
Unless they’re ‘closet narcissists,’ you know most narcissistic people like validation and being admired. Their sense of worth is based on constant approval. They take or steal energy from other people to feel good about themselves.
Why don’t narcissists seem to care about the negative attention they get? Their narcissistic flame is also fueled by negative attention. They just want attention, and whatever kind of attention they get keeps them motivated. That’s what motivates them to keep doing what they’re doing.
Negative attention is often more appealing to them. They can exploit it, so you stay hooked and entangled if you’re still bothered by their relationship crimes!
Therefore, it’s a real treat when you don’t acknowledge it. Narcissists are more sensitive to indifference than hatred. You’re more likely to get a negative response than not.
It’s hard for narcissists to be ignored. If they aren’t the center of the universe or the subject of everyone’s attention, they don’t know how to feel significant or special. You’re better off staying away from them completely or only maintaining minimal contact if you have kids together, as the Grey Rock method is often pointless.
2 When People Talk Factually
Have you ever watched a narcissist speak? Their language is overflowing with big sentences and filled with emotion. Their truth is always what they believe, so they twist reality to fit their worldview.
Their entire lives have been spent watching other people’s emotions and using them to their benefit. They intuitively understand that they’re less powerful when you speak in fact instead of emotion.
Since facts aren’t as appealing to them as emotions, they hate it when someone questions them. Then they’ll become hysterical or yell at you. This reaction shows how out of control they feel. Throwing an emotional temper tantrum tries to make the conversation more intense.
The narcissist’s immaturity is all that is emphasized in this dynamic. It shows they can’t handle adult interactions because they can’t absorb facts. They don’t know how to deal with facts. It shows they can’t handle adult interactions because they lie and hide things. Being truthful throws them off.
3 Authority
Narcissists don’t like authority, and that’s not without reason. It’s because they don’t like answering to anyone but themselves. It’s not wise to show your power to validate the arguments since power and control frighten them.
Having problems at work, school, or the law isn’t unusual for narcissists. Have they ever had multiple jobs? What do they do when they get condemned? It’s essential to monitor their behaviors against such events.
They can be smart, but they’re unfit for professional settings due to their combative nature. Everyone denies or rationalizes their problematic behavior when confronted with it.
Narcissists are difficult to work with, so it’s no surprise they don’t like it. They’re unreasonable and unruly. The person can’t comprehend why the person has such volatile reactions to basic directions.
4 Being Told No
top 8 Phrases to Shut Down the Narcissists/Toxic People
Narcissists hate it when you say no and then follow through. The narcissist’s way of getting what they want is to manipulate and tease.
Usually, they’ll do whatever it takes to get this done. They’ve charmed plenty of people to get what they want. Never once do they wonder how their actions impact you.
Therefore, saying no to such a narcissistic character- and sticking to your guns- gets so much backlash. When a narcissist denies, they get really illogical.
It’s difficult for narcissists to comprehend why anyone wouldn’t want to date them. They don’t understand what’s happening in your head because they don’t have empathy. They refuse to accept it even if they try to comprehend it.
5 Implementing Consequences
What’s the hardest thing about setting boundaries with a narcissist? Was it challenging? They probably reacted in one of three ways if you tried to implement a limit:
- Gaslighting you and just totally ignoring you
- Taking responsibility for their mistake, promising to do better, and not following through
- Feeling angry, threatening, or even physically violent
Narcissists with personality disorder won’t let them take responsibility for their actions. It’s impossible for them to see when they’re faulty, and they can’t even comprehend why anyone might think they’re wrong. Narcissists don’t care even if they know this. Due to this, they tend to try and intimidate you by reacting extremely irresponsibly to boundaries and serious conversations.
It’s difficult to deal with narcissists because many people just give up. They surrender and dismiss their feelings because they don’t want a conflict. It’s just how they are, so you don’t set a real boundary. We can imagine how difficult it could be to deal with it.
6 Losing At Anything
Have you ever watched kids playing board games? It’s probably not the first time you’ve seen cheating and drama when someone loses. It’s okay for kids that age, but what about full-grown adults?
People who are narcissists are sore losers like toddlers. They have difficulty accepting losing, and they lash out when they do. Here are some scenarios:
- Whenever someone’s in charge (boss/referee), they accuse them of incompetence
- They try to make the winner look bad
- They made it seem like they didn’t care about winning
- They keep telling you about stuff to let them take the spotlight
- You may have heard them act like they’re winning while refusing to accept that they lost.
It’ll seem like they’re the ones who left you after you leave them. (They’re going to say it’s them!)
7 Public Humiliation
top 8 Phrases to Shut Down the Narcissists/Toxic People
Narcissists can’t handle public humiliation because they’re sore losers. It just doesn’t sit well with them. They feel humiliated by everyone.
Every narcissist knows their egos are fragile. They get upset when someone ridicules them or doesn’t give them the respect they deserve in public. And they’ll do anything to protect their fragile egos. Examples include:
- Threatening people with violence or emotion
- Playing with the audience and trying to one-up them
- Whining or screaming
- Exhibiting obvious anger as you walk away
- Laughing off a situation in public and then lashing out at loved ones later
- Falsely claiming anyone is an expert
8 Expectations of Commitment
Narcissists have a hard time sticking to commitments. They don’t usually reciprocate the loyalty, even though they think they deserve it. So they don’t take into consideration other people’s needs when they’re in a relationship. Their only thinking about themselves is what they feel, what they want, and what they want.
Many partners hope their narcissist will change, but that doesn’t happen. Narcissists love to be praised and adored by others. They love pretending to be good, but they cannot change in reality. It’s like holding onto the same promise that will never be fulfilled.
Narcissists make all the rules. When they want to do it, what they do is up to them. This means breaking and changing the rules as they like.
9 Vulnerability And Emotional Expression
Cognitive empathy is a tactic used by narcissists to get attention. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is what real empathy is all about. This means feeling and thinking like them.
In contrast, cognitive empathy is sneakier and more manipulative. Imagine a salesman whose job is to take advantage of your uncertainty about buying a car. Imagine the guy who says you need a new AC unit.
It’s like getting inside someone’s head and feeling their emotions. But you have to know them first. You can tell if a narcissist is using cognitive empathy. Narcissists use false kindness and compassion to build trust.
They’re also terrified of emotional expression and vulnerability. It makes them feel weak. It makes it easier to take advantage of you when your defenses are down.
10 99% Of Other People
What’s your narcissist’s social circle like? Probably not a lot. People who validate their narcissism are usually their only friends.
Do you ever hear your narcissist complain about other people? Probably a lot! It’s because resentments are often born from single wrongdoing. If one screws up, the whole reputation’s ruined.
Those with a narcissistic worldview have a hard time getting along with others. They don’t like being challenged. Other people knowing more than them doesn’t sit well with them.
Brainy narcissists don’t like being around others who aren’t as special as them. Anything that threatens their god-like status is enough to make them explode and be malicious.
As a result, narcissists won’t tolerate anyone who lives in the real world. That’s why you rarely see people with strong boundaries tolerating narcissists for very long. Their sense is that the narcissist can’t be trusted, connected, or loved.
11 Your Own Clarity
You shouldn’t remember life before you met a narcissist. They’ll manipulate you to stop it from occurring because this is their biggest fear.
Love bombs are a narcissist’s way of keeping you captivated. Those guys are hilarious and considerate. Feeling special in ways you’ve never felt before will be made possible by your cognitive empathy.
You’re not supposed to think for yourself with narcissists. When you do that, they will undoubtedly get angry at you. It will be their way to break you down. You’ll also start doubting your abilities and questioning your motives because they create such situations.
They try to rewire your mind, to alter the way you think. They’ll do whatever it takes to keep things the way they are.
12 When You Change The Status Quo
When change isn’t in their control, narcissists hate it. Staying with someone who’s narcissistic is frustrating and resentful.
You should leave a narcissist if you really want to make them miserable. They’ll think they’ve still got control if they try anything else. The best way to show them you’re not their puppet on a string is to leave the relationship for good by choosing yourself over the narcissist.
Narcissists can be humiliated, outsmarted, and overpowered by leaving them. You can only get back at a narcissist if you walk away and live your life.
It’s painful to process the shame that lurks beneath a narcissist’s facade of grandiosity. A narcissist will harbor more depressive and self-hating feelings the more extreme their narcissism. Narcissist can avoid their deep inner shame as long as they project it on the world.
Narcissistic behavior can develop in children who have been abused, neglected, bullied, or emotionally traumatized.Any kind of slight disagreement threatens the fragile egos of narcissists.
A grandiose narcissist thinks he’s better than everyone else, so he treats others differently. Because they don’t like to change their bad habits, narcissists are hard to get along.
Once they figure out what works, narcissists tend to use it again. You can figure out what they’re doing and stop engaging. Getting rid of narcissists is as easy as catching their red flags. You’re more likely to perpetuate their behavior if you engage with them.
You have to have a good support system to survive a narcissist. You can ask somebody you know will be there for you, like a family member, friend, therapist, etc.
Keeping your feet firmly on the ground is important to you. You’ll know when something’s not right if you have trusted friends and family.
Thank you for continuing reading, please don’t forget to share this article with your family and friends.
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