How to Control a Narcissist
Simply put, taking away their main sources of narcissistic supply can really unsettle them, to the point of changing their behavior in hopes of getting back that supply. Another tactic you can use is to deliberately ignore attention-seeking behavior, such as when the narcissist flaunts something new or boasts about their achievements. For example, if they’re wearing a flashy outfit or talking grandly about a recent accomplishment, you might simply respond with a neutral, “Oh, that’s nice,” or “Sounds fun,” in a calm, indifferent tone rather than reacting with enthusiasm or admiration.
Speaking of achievements, this is a loss that can impact their behavior. If the narcissist mismanages money or behaves inappropriately, for example, and they get called out, they’ll often try to dodge the blame. Maybe they’ll make a bunch of excuses or even try to shift the focus onto someone else. But when real consequences hit, like getting a damaged reputation, losing a job or professional title, or developing a bad public image, it usually gets their attention. That said, it’s not always easy to make those consequences happen. But when they do, they tend to leave a lasting impression on the narcissist, even to the point of making them think twice about doing the same thing that led to that particular consequence.
At this point, you probably know that narcissists work hard to keep up an image of perfection. This is why anything that damages the image they’ve created can really throw them off. So, one way to get through to them is by making them lose face. Basically, it’s about exposing them to social embarrassment or messing with their carefully crafted image. But this isn’t about actually changing their behavior; it’s more about shaking their sense of superiority and reminding them they’re not always the star, the center of attention, or the “winner” in every situation.
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