It’s common for people to complain about how baffling narcissists are and how impossible it is to blend with them. The truth is that they love to gaslight you into feelings of confusion. But what if you turned the tables by deciding you won’t play along with their mind games? It’s possible that you can respond in ways that baffle the narcissist!
When you think about the pattern of narcissism, it can be difficult to wrap your mind around how some individuals build their entire personalities around traits like needing to control others, exploiting and manipulating people, having a sense of entitlement, looking down on others, being pathologically defensive, or creating their own alternate truths.
To make matters worse, it’s incredibly frustrating when they try to get inside your head—telling you how you’re supposed to think, what priorities you should have, and what opinions you should lead with. They want to ensure you conform to their self-serving agenda.
How many times have you wasted emotional energy trying to make them understand you, only to feel like you’re running into a brick wall? How often have you tried to show them a different perspective, only to be baffled by their close-mindedness and self-centered behavior?
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When you continually engage in this reasoning, hoping for a breakthrough, you end up caught in their grip. Narcissists thrive on arguments, frustration, and tension because it validates their perception of you. They rationalize, thinking, “You are exactly as unreasonable as I thought you were.”
This dynamic creates a co-dependent dance where they pull the strings, and you react. But what if you decided not to play their game? What if you became unpredictable and baffling to them instead?
Turning the Tables on Narcissists
To stop being controlled, you need to shift your mindset and adjust your behavior. Start with this belief:
“I’m going to love and accept myself for who I am—my strengths, weaknesses, and all that makes me, me.”
Narcissists want you to see only your flaws, but by embracing self-love, you deny them the power to diminish your worth.
Next, cultivate self-respect:
“I don’t need external validation for my worth. My dignity is inherent, and no one has the right to control my well-being.”
Setting Boundaries and Standing Firm
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When you formulate your opinions, stick to them without wavering. You don’t need to seek their approval for your thoughts, priorities, or plans. Say to yourself,
“I reason well, and I trust my judgment.”
Accept that narcissists will complain or accuse you. Instead of being shocked or emotionally reactive, remind yourself:
“This is who they are. I’m not surprised, and I won’t let it affect me.”
When they attempt to provoke you, respond with calm, self-affirming statements like:
- “I know I don’t make sense to you, but I make sense to me.”
- “That’s the decision I’ve made.”
Keep your responses simple and neutral. Don’t waste energy on defending yourself, as their goal is not to understand but to dominate.
Choosing Detachment Over Engagement
When narcissists try to argue or lash out, choose detachment instead of confrontation. Acknowledge their behavior internally, but refuse to participate in their agitation.
“Their anger and irritability are their issues—not mine. I won’t tether myself to their negativity.”
Stay calm and focused, reminding yourself to prioritize your emotional health over their demands.
Final Thoughts
Narcissists don’t think or behave normally. When you stop engaging in their games and begin prioritizing your well-being, it will baffle them. Let their confusion be their problem—not yours.
By cultivating inner steadiness, self-love, and self-respect, you empower yourself to live with dignity, civility, and peace.
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