The biggest mistake you can make is getting pulled into that game. When you do, it’s like saying, “Oh, I so have you going,” and they just love it because it’s game on. Remember that when we’re in an argument, winning is not the goal; getting your point across and being true to who you are is the goal.
Another thing to remember is that they genuinely feel superior. So, as you enter any disagreement, don’t expect that person to have a better opinion of you. They already think they’re superior, leaving you in a low place, and you’re not going to change their mind. Just know that’s their game, and it’s one you don’t have to play.
Another significant point is that narcissists lack empathy. In healthy relationships, disagreements can happen, but there’s empathy present. You say what you want to say, and the other person listens and understands. Narcissists can’t think that way. If you think that maybe if you express your thoughts clearly, they’ll show some understanding, think again.
If you continue arguing, hoping for the day they’ll understand you, you’re going to be waiting a long time. They don’t want to understand you; they don’t feel the need to. They are extremely dismissive, so keep that in mind as you enter a disagreement.
Another thought to hold onto is that narcissists hate the notion of you feeling competent within yourself. They tend to have a critical mindset, thinking you don’t know anything, that you’re an idiot, and that anything you say or do is off-base. If you think they’ll respect your confidence, think again; they will not.
As you engage with a narcissist, one of their goals is to keep you off balance. They employ various communication techniques, such as asking cornering questions like, “Where did you come up with that idea?” or “Don’t you remember I told you something last week?” These questions aren’t meant to enlighten; they aim to make you feel foolish.
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