Without lies, the Narcissist loses control. They hide behind pillars or mountains of lies they have constructed to protect their fragile self-esteem or maintain their fake identity. Therefore, the life of a Narcissist is usually built on lies. When the truth is brought to them, they instantly become super defensive because the truth is their poison. Whether it is the truth about who they really are or things they have said or done, it is all the same to the Narcissist: an uncomfortable, bitter, deadly threat they must dispel with every fiber of their being.
Today, I will discuss the top five reactions of a Narcissist when confronted with the truth, followed by how to handle these narcissistic reactions.
1. Denial
One of the first ways a Narcissist is likely to react when confronted with the truth is denial. No matter how clear the truth is, they will flat-out deny it, insisting they never said or did anything wrong. They may even accuse you of making it all up. Denying the truth allows Narcissists to avoid accountability and maintain their delusions.
2. Blame and Shame
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The second reaction is blame-shifting. This tactic takes the focus off them. Instead of addressing the issue, they will point fingers at you or others, insisting that if you hadn’t done this, they wouldn’t have done that. Essentially, they shift focus to someone else to distract from the truth and place blame elsewhere.
3. Temper Tantrum
A third common reaction is rage and intimidation. Confronting a Narcissist or presenting them with the truth about their actions can cause them to explode in a fit of rage. Expect anger, yelling, or aggressive behavior designed to shut you down. They may say things like, “How dare you accuse me?” or call you crazy, hoping their over-the-top reaction will intimidate you and end the confrontation. In their mind, their anger should signal that you are in the wrong, not them.
4. Victimhood
The fourth most probable reaction is playing the victim. Confronting them with the truth will be seen as an attack. They will twist the narrative to make themselves appear hurt or betrayed, making you feel guilty for confronting them. This deflects attention from the truth and places the blame on you for being “cruel.”
5. Silence
The fifth reaction is the silent treatment. Narcissists often use silence to regain control of a situation or person. They may shut down communication entirely, refusing to engage with the person confronting them. This leaves the situation unresolved and unclear. They hope you will set the truth aside to regain their attention and end the silent treatment.
How to Respond
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When dealing with a Narcissist who is trying to manipulate you instead of taking accountability, here are key steps to follow:
- No Reaction
Do not react emotionally. Let them throw their tantrums, yell, or cry while you stay calm and centered. Avoid matching their intensity. This includes refraining from arguing, even to defend yourself, as they will gladly start any argument to shift focus away from the truth. - Stay Factual
Stick to the facts. Let the evidence speak for itself without engaging in debates. - Walk Away
Know when to leave. If the conversation becomes abusive, disengage. Long-term exposure to narcissistic behavior can be draining, and walking away prioritizes your mental health.
The only benefit of confronting a Narcissist with the truth is letting them know you see through their manipulation. While this may have consequences, it can also be liberating. Prioritizing your well-being is essential.
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