Narcissists might control all the money, give you an allowance, or scrutinize every penny you spend. Conversely, they might make impulsive financial decisions without consulting you, leaving you constantly worried about stability. It’s not just about money; it’s about power. Keeping you financially dependent or in the dark about finances makes it harder for you to leave or feel independent.
As Dr. Judith Orloff, author of “Emotional Freedom,” explains, narcissists use financial control as a tool to dominate and maintain their sense of superiority. The unpredictability of this behavior adds another layer of stress. One day, they might shower you with gifts to keep you compliant, and the next, they might criticize you for being ungrateful or wasteful. It’s a roller coaster that leaves you feeling powerless and unsure of where you stand. Over time, this erodes your confidence in making financial decisions, making you feel even more reliant on them. But remember, financial control is not love or care; it’s manipulation. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward taking back your independence, whether by seeking financial advice or building a support system to regain control of your life.
7. Withholding Affection
Love and affection should be freely given in any healthy relationship, but a narcissist turns them into bargaining chips. They might suddenly become cold, distant, or even ignore you if they feel you’ve stepped out of line. It isn’t about a misunderstanding or needing space; it’s a deliberate way to manipulate you into compliance. When someone withholds affection, it’s like they’re weaponizing what you naturally crave.
Over time, this creates a damaging pattern where you might start walking on eggshells to earn their love back. It’s exhausting and makes you question your worth because they’ve tied your value to whether or not they approve of you. This tactic is a way to keep you under their control by making you desperate for their validation. As psychotherapist Ross Rosenberg explains in “The Human Magnet Syndrome,” narcissists exploit their partner’s need for love, creating a cycle of hope and despair. Breaking free from this cycle starts with recognizing that their affection is conditional and manipulative. True love isn’t something you should have to fight for; it’s given freely without strings attached.
Leave a Comment