How Narcissist Turns Everyday Conversations Into Battles
Have you ever played a game where the rules kept changing just to make sure you never won? That’s precisely what happens when a narcissist moves the goalposts. No matter how much effort you put in, they shift their expectations at the last second, making it impossible for you to succeed.
You apologize, change your behavior, or try to meet their demands, only for them to say, “That’s not enough,” or “That’s not really what I wanted.” The finish line is always just out of reach. As therapist Shahida Arabi puts it, with narcissists, the standards are always changing.
But here’s the truth: If you never feel like you’re good enough, they keep you stuck in a cycle of trying harder while they sit back and pull the strings.
9. Guilt Tripping
Harriet B. Breaker, author of Who’s Pulling Your Strings, explains that guilt tripping is a form of emotional manipulation designed to control you by making you feel indebted. Instead of listening to your concerns, the narcissist plays the victim, making you feel like you’ve done something wrong just for speaking up.
That’s how guilt tripping works: it turns your reasonable concerns into proof that you’re ungrateful, selfish, or even cruel. The moment you express frustration or set a boundary, they hit you with, “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”
But here’s the truth: Love and respect aren’t debts you owe; they’re mutual, not one-sided. If someone only gives so they can hold it over you later, it’s not kindness; it’s control.
10. Word Salad
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