How Narcissist Turns Everyday Conversations Into Battles
Stonewalling is when a narcissist shuts down, refuses to engage, and leaves you talking to what feels like a brick wall. You try to have a simple discussion, but they act like they don’t hear you, stare at their phone, or give you nothing but one-word answers. Other times, they hit you with the dreaded silent treatment, punishing you by completely withdrawing until you apologize—even if you did nothing wrong.
John Gottman, a renowned psychologist who studies relationship dynamics, explains that stonewalling isn’t just avoiding conflict; it’s a way to control the conversation by refusing to participate. And that’s what makes it so toxic. It’s not about resolving anything; it’s about making you feel powerless.
But here’s the truth: A healthy conversation requires two people. If someone constantly refuses to meet you halfway, they’re not avoiding drama; they’re creating it.
5. Projection
Isn’t it funny how the person calling you toxic is usually the one poisoning the conversation? That’s the twisted magic of projection. When a narcissist accuses you of the very things they’re guilty of, if they lie, they call you dishonest; if they manipulate, suddenly you’re the controlling one.
George Simon, author of In Sheep’s Clothing, explains that narcissists project their flaws onto others because admitting fault would shatter their carefully crafted self-image. Instead of facing their behavior, they dump it onto you, forcing you to explain yourself for something you never even did.
But here’s the truth: If someone always accuses you of what they are doing, it’s not because they see it in you; it’s because they can’t face it in themselves.
6. Triangulation
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