You’re not failing at trying to have a heart-to-heart talk with a narcissist because you have weak communication skills. Here’s the real reason why narcissists don’t engage in conversations: they do power plays. What should be a simple discussion turns into a battle where they twist your words, shift blame, and leave you questioning reality.
Narcissists don’t argue to resolve things; they argue to win. Today, we’ll uncover the 10 ways narcissistic abuse turns everyday conversations into battles. Are you ready for number one?
1. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is one of the most insidious tactics of narcissistic abuse because it makes you question your reality. One moment you’re sure of what happened, and the next you’re scrambling to remember details as they confidently deny everything. They might say something hurtful, and when you call them out, they respond with, “I never said that,” or “You’re making things up.” Over time, this constant distortion of reality erodes your confidence.
Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect, explains that gaslighting works because the victim starts to trust the manipulator’s version of reality over their own. What makes gaslighting so dangerous is that it doesn’t happen in one dramatic moment; it’s a steady drip of confusion that leaves you feeling lost. Narcissists thrive on control, and if they can rewrite your memories, they can rewrite you.
But here’s the truth: If you feel like you’re constantly second-guessing your reality, it’s not because you’re forgetful; it’s because someone is making you doubt what you already know to be true.
2. Deflection
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