How Narcissist Makes You Feel Guilty for Relaxing
Finally, we’re down to number nine: They sabotage your downtime on purpose. Narcissists are experts at hijacking your peace. The moment you try to rest, suddenly they need you. It’s like they have a sixth sense for your serenity and see it as a threat. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Lindseay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, narcissists often feel entitled to your time and attention and will disrupt your downtime to reassert control. So even if you plan to relax, your nervous system stays on edge, bracing for the next manufactured emergency. You start to feel guilty before you’ve even closed your eyes. And here’s the sneaky part: you start internalizing it. Your brain’s been wired to expect sabotage, so it tries to avoid the fallout before it even happens. Life coach and trauma expert Masten Kip puts it like this: your nervous system doesn’t care about your dreams; it cares about your survival. So rest starts to feel unsafe. But here’s your reminder: their chaos is not your responsibility, and you’re allowed to have peace without being punished for it. Feeling guilty for relaxing isn’t your fault; it’s something you were taught by someone who needed you to stay busy, anxious, or small. But rest isn’t laziness, and you don’t have to earn it by suffering first. You’re allowed to take a breath, do nothing, and just be. Healing means giving yourself that permission without shame. You deserve peace, even if you’re still learning how to sit with it.
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