Destroy a Narcissist’s Gaslighting Using Three Sentences

When a narcissist says, “I never said that,” do not ask, “Then tell me what you said,” or say, “No, I know you said that. Do you think I’m crazy?” They want you to get entangled in a fruitless argument, turning into a circular conversation that leaves you feeling crazy. Instead, take a step back and pause. Do not respond instantly. Notice what’s going on in your body, as I always suggest, and look at them with a soft gaze. Blink at least five times; this is called the blink strategy. Focus on those blinks while simultaneously recognizing what the narcissist is trying to do. Slowly respond and say something that creates perceptual space instantly. You can say something along the lines of, “Well, that is what I heard.” By saying so, you are clearly separating your perception from theirs and telling them that your perception is your reality, and it will not be dictated by them. You could also say, “I know what you said, and I don’t think I’m going to change that.” Just leave it there. Sometimes, giving no response is the best response, but in situations where you must say something, this is what you say. Do not justify or argue about what was said or heard. If they escalate and try to fight, you can say, “It doesn’t seem you are in the right state of mind to hold space for this conversation. Let me know when you are ready, and we will take this topic again.” By doing this, you put the responsibility back on them, where it belongs, and then you leave.

Technique 2

When a narcissist says, “You need help. You need to see a professional. You’re going crazy,” you could respond, “I need somebody who is helpful.” This response is not about changing their behavior but about creating perceptual space for yourself. Do not let their words make you think you’re losing it or being unhelpful. You say this to affirm your own perception, not to change theirs or to win the argument, as there is no winning with a narcissist. You could also say, “That is your opinion of me, and I see things differently, which is okay.” However, be cautious, as this can trigger narcissistic rage. Everything is criticism to a narcissist, and they might blame you for blaming them. They could even use this in a legal context against you. You have to be careful about what to say and when. You may say it in a way that doesn’t trigger significant consequences or legal issues. You could just say something that sets you free. What do you think a person should say in such a scenario? Drop your answers in the comments.

Technique 3

The Narcissist’s Initial Reaction To Your Silence or Absence

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