With emotional manipulation in full swing, some narcissists like to take it up a notch by Stealing the Spotlight. Whether it’s hosting an elaborate event, giving over-the-top gifts, or stirring up drama, narcissists see the holidays as a stage. It’s not about sharing joy; it’s about maintaining their control and image. In the mind of a narcissist, it’s a competition to see who throws the best party or gives the most impressive gift. They relish the chance to “win” in these scenarios. Many narcissists enjoy the performative aspects of the holidays, such as decorating and giving flashy gifts, as it allows them to show off and post photos online to maintain their facade of being generous, successful, or the “perfect” family member. It’s all about using these occasions to maintain their status as the focal point.
Disrupting the Peace
The third way narcissists make the most of the holidays is by Disrupting the Peace. The themes that accompany the holidays, like love, gratitude, and selflessness, are qualities that narcissists struggle with. So, if they can’t hide behind flashy gifts, elaborate events, or being the star of the show, they secretly resent the genuine connections others form during this time. This often leads them to create conflict to center themselves and disrupt the joy of others, leaving everyone walking on eggshells.
In one way or another, the narcissist tries to make the holidays about themselves. It’s not about celebrating together; it’s about protecting their fragile sense of self. They still need constant validation and to be the center of attention. Whether they use false generosity to control or impress, or negativity to dampen the mood, what matters is that they remain in control.
Practical Tips for Dealing with a Narcissist During the Holidays
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