8 Tactics Narcissists Use To “Train” You To Comply
Have you ever thought of yourself as someone who has been trained to think, behave, and respond in the ways that you do? If you have an ongoing relationship with a narcissist—and I hate to use the term “relationship” because that word carries a lot of weight, and it isn’t truly a relationship—if you are engaging with a narcissist in an ongoing manner, they are attempting to train you to be a certain way.
Narcissists want to train you to meet their needs in a particular fashion. A defining feature of narcissism is manipulation. They are out there trying to manipulate you in whatever way they can to maintain their control and feed that self-absorbed ego they bring into the equation. Essentially, they approach you with the mindset that they have their needs, and it’s your job to comply. They don’t possess a strong sense of reciprocity.
At times, they may let you think or feel that they are willing to compromise or go with the flow, but ultimately, their interactions with you tend to be little more than a manipulative ploy. I know it can sound cynical to say this, but part of narcissism is the lack of empathy and the “all about me” mentality. As a result, these individuals are highly predictable. They are very co-dependent—though they would never admit that. Their mood is directly tied to what you give them, and they want you to play your role so that they can feel okay and superior.
As long as they maintain this manipulative mindset toward you, certain predictable tactics emerge to keep you in line and ensure you continue to provide the supply they need. Let’s go through eight of what I consider the most common tactics they use. This is not an exhaustive list, but it should give you an idea of how this works.
This book helped me break free — it might help you too: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself
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