7 Stages Every Narcissist Goes Through in Their Life

Stage number four is the mirror game. At this point, they stop seeing people as actual human beings. Instead, they use everyone around them as mirrors. They want you to reflect their greatness back to them, confirming how important they are and validating the fantasy they have created about themselves. If you reflect anything less than perfection back to them, if you point out a flaw, set a boundary, or ask them to be accountable for something, what will they do? They will shatter you like you are a broken mirror. Relationships are not about love for them; they are just about self-reflection. You’re not their partner; you’re a prop in their show. At this point, they start getting really desperate. That’s why they go crazy; they jump from one situation to another quickly because people are starting to see the person behind the mask, and they are getting exposed.

Stage 5: The Mask Cracks

This brings us to stage number five: the mask eventually cracks. All those partners and people start catching up with them. People begin leaving their lives. The fake persona they have worked so hard to maintain starts crumbling. But even at this point, instead of looking within, they blame everyone else for their problems. Their rage increases, panic sets in, and they desperately try to find new people to supply that validation, but it’s not working the same way anymore. Their tricks are not landing like they used to. Their charm is starting to wear thin. They find themselves recycling the same stories, telling the same lies, hoping nobody notices all the cracks that are starting to show.

Stage 6: The Isolated Shell

In stage number six, they turn into an isolated shell. This is where their downfall really begins. Friends start drifting away from them, ex-partners want nothing to do with them, and their own children cut off contact completely. They become bitter, paranoid, and increasingly unstable. The world is not applauding them anymore. It doesn’t revolve around them anymore, and that silence terrifies them. They spiral downward, often into addiction, unhealthy obsessions, or deep depression. Like I said, there is always going to be an addiction if there is a narcissist. So their addiction at this point becomes obvious. If they are an alcoholic, you will see them drunk almost all the time because they can’t run away from their own miserable self anymore. They may be surrounded by material things, wealth, but there is nobody left who truly loves them or even likes them as a person. Many narcissists chase younger people because they want to vicariously live through their youth, or they think, “If I am seen with this man or woman, they’ll think I’m young as well.” So they do not engage in age-appropriate activities because they are essentially developmentally stunted or arrested. They do not grow. They do not gracefully age; they miserably do so because the older they get, the closer they get to their own rottenness—their reality, which is that they are shame-filled, shame-driven, insecure individuals who never took responsibility for their actions and blamed others for everything. But now, it’s not working anymore.