A conversational narcissist isn’t just someone who dominates a discussion; it’s someone who drains the life out of a conversation, turning it into a monologue where they are the only voice that matters. You don’t just talk to them; you endure them. By the time it’s over, you feel exhausted, unheard, and questioning why you even engaged in the first place.
Number One: You may talk for hours yet get nowhere. It’s like running on a treadmill: you’re talking, they’re talking, but you’re not actually going anywhere. The conversation loops back to them over and over again. You share something personal, they hijack it and turn it into their own story. You try to introduce a new topic, but they subtly dismiss it and steer everything back to their world. It’s never a dialogue; it’s them holding court, and you’re just there, trapped, listening, nodding, and waiting for an exit that never comes. This pattern is insidious because, at first, it might seem like they are engaged. They’ll nod, react, and even feign curiosity, but the moment you let your guard down, they’ll spin the entire discussion into something about them. Your experiences become their experiences; your pain becomes a setup for their hardships; your excitement is immediately overshadowed by their own, more important stories. It’s a psychological trap, making you feel like you’re engaging while they slowly erase your voice.
Number Two: They use jargon and fancy words to sound correct. Conversational narcissists love to drown you in a sea of jargon. They speak in a way that makes them sound authoritative, even when they’re saying nothing of substance. They’ll drop technical terms, industry phrases, or pseudo-intellectual nonsense just to appear smarter than you. They love complexity for its own sake because it creates an illusion of depth. It’s not about making a point; it’s about making you feel like you’re not smart enough to challenge them. This technique is often used to create an imbalance of power. When someone starts using unnecessarily complex language, it subtly signals, “I know more than you, so don’t even bother challenging me.” If you ask for clarification, they’ll either mock you or spin it even further into nonsense to ensure you never catch up.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Number Three: They give politically correct answers that mean nothing. They don’t commit to anything. Ask them a direct question, and they’ll dodge it with a vague, rehearsed response that keeps them looking good. They’ll say things that sound intelligent, but when you dissect their words, you realize they haven’t actually said anything at all. They master the art of talking without really talking. It’s all smoke and mirrors—words meant to maintain their image rather than actually communicate. This type of response serves two purposes: to avoid accountability and to keep you hooked. They leave their words open to interpretation so they can shift their stance at any moment. If you try to pin them down on something they previously said, they’ll act like you misunderstood or twist their words so it seems like they never actually said it. It’s a constant cycle of deflection, confusion, and emotional exhaustion.
Number Four: They talk like they’re giving a sermon. Every conversation is a lecture. They don’t speak to you; they speak at you. Their tone is authoritative, self-righteous, and patronizing. They act as if they are imparting divine wisdom and you should feel privileged just to be in their presence. There’s no space for discussion because they believe they are the final word on every subject. If you try to interject, they look at you like you’re a fool who just interrupted their grand revelation. They present themselves as infallible figures—like spiritual gurus, life coaches, or philosophers—who have it all figured out. Their speech patterns often include long, drawn-out pauses, dramatic emphasis, and an air of “I have been enlightened, and you are but a simpleton trying to understand my greatness.” It’s exhausting because it isn’t a conversation; it’s a performance, and you are just the audience.
Number Five: It feels like a dictator talking to a subservient audience. Conversational narcissists don’t engage in discussions; they deliver speeches. They expect deference, compliance, and admiration. They want you to agree and validate their brilliance. If you challenge them, you’ll notice a shift—maybe a condescending smile, a sharp dismissive response, or outright hostility. Their conversations aren’t about connection; they’re about control. They need to establish dominance in every interaction, and if you don’t comply, they’ll either crush your input or shut you out entirely. Their behavior mimics that of a cult leader or a tyrant. They don’t care if they make sense; they care if they have an obedient audience. If you dare to speak up, they will make you feel like an enemy of their narrative. They may even use passive-aggressive tactics like sighing loudly, rolling their eyes, or making sarcastic comments about how some people just don’t get it.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Number Six: They never let you interrupt. Try to get a word in—just try. You won’t succeed. Every time you open your mouth, they either steamroll right over you or make you feel like an idiot for even trying to contribute. Their conversational flow is like an uninterrupted broadcast, and you’re just background noise. If you do manage to slip in a thought, they’ll either ignore it, minimize it, or quickly pivot back to whatever they were saying before. To them, you are not a participant; you’re an audience. This relentless talking serves a purpose: it prevents you from having any space to think or challenge them. It’s an aggressive conversational tactic meant to keep you disoriented and submissive. If you forcefully interrupt, they’ll act offended, as if you committed a grave sin by daring to disrupt their brilliance.
Number Seven: Word salad—endless, meaningless monologues. Ever listened to someone talk and realized halfway through that they haven’t actually said anything? That’s a conversational narcissist in action. They string together long, convoluted sentences filled with unnecessary details, contradictions, and filler words. It’s deliberate. The goal is to confuse, overwhelm, and exhaust you into submission. By the time they’re done, you’re too mentally drained to even question what just happened, and that’s exactly how they want it. Word salad isn’t just rambling; it’s a weapon. It’s a way to gaslight, distract, and manipulate. You leave the conversation feeling like you were intellectually outmatched when in reality, they just threw a thousand disjointed words at you to make sure you couldn’t focus long enough to see through their nonsense.
A conversation with a narcissist is not a conversation; it’s an experience—one that leaves you feeling insignificant, unheard, and mentally drained. You’re not crazy for feeling like you just got hit by a verbal hurricane. That’s exactly what they do: they don’t converse; they command. And the only way to win is to stop playing their game.
Sharing is caring!