A lot of people do not understand narcissistic collapse for what it truly is. They think, “Oh, when a narcissist falls apart, they stop abusing others.” But that’s not what happens—their abuse often gets worse. Why? Their old ways of functioning no longer serve them.
For example, the image they once projected to the world shatters. They can no longer deceive others as easily. Their old tricks lose their effectiveness. So, what do they do? They become a nastier version of themselves.
People start seeing through their façade. As a result, the narcissist becomes impatient and messy to be around, pushing everyone away. This is when they exhibit the classic post-collapse behaviors I have personally witnessed.
This may sound harsh, but I’ve seen it firsthand with my psychopathic narcissistic grandfather. The older he got, the more unbearable he became for his caregivers. Let’s dive into the seven behaviors:
Behavior #1: Extreme Isolation
A collapsed narcissist withdraws from social events. They avoid interacting with others and appear depressed, sad, and quiet. Why? They feel weak, fragile, and vulnerable and don’t want to be perceived that way. Suppressed shame governs their behavior, making them highly irritable if pressured to socialize.
They associate attention with exposure to their perceived weaknesses, so they isolate themselves to avoid it.
Behavior #2: Rage Outbursts
A collapsed narcissist is always simmering with anger. One small trigger can unleash a torrent of rage. They lose control, verbally abuse others, and may even resort to physical aggression.
This rage stems from their inability to accept vulnerability. It’s their way of hiding feelings of weakness while reestablishing control, often at the expense of others.
Behavior #3: Playing the Victim
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All narcissist types—overt, covert, grandiose, altruistic—resort to playing the victim after a collapse. They fabricate stories to gain sympathy and support, often accusing caregivers or family members of conspiring against them.
This behavior is manipulative, aimed at ensuring others feel sorry for them while maintaining control.
Behavior #4: Compulsive Self-Pity
Collapsed narcissists obsess over past glories, lamenting their current state. They cling to delusions of their former power and complain incessantly about aging or losing control.
The same narcissist who once mocked vulnerability now demands sympathy, enabling their victimhood narrative.
Behavior #5: Obsessive Focus on One Event or Person
A collapsed narcissist often fixates on one individual or event, blaming them for their condition. This delusional belief can lead to paranoia and even revenge plotting.
The targeted person may be completely unaware of the narcissist’s accusations, but the obsession persists.
Behavior #6: Sudden Health Complaints
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Collapsed narcissists frequently feign severe health issues to manipulate others into providing attention and care. They might fabricate emergencies, such as claiming to have a heart attack, only to guilt-trip others into responding.
These manipulative tactics are designed to maintain a sense of importance and control.
Behavior #7: Ruthless Blame-Shifting
Even on their deathbed, a collapsed narcissist will lash out, blaming others for their plight. Often, the scapegoated family member becomes the target of their venom, while the narcissist blindly supports their “Golden Child.”
This behavior reflects their inability to take accountability and their lifelong need to project blame onto others.
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