7 Everyday Things That Break a Narcissist's Heart (Narc Told me This)

The second trigger occurs when people who do not flatter the narcissist still succeed. We are trained to believe narcissists hate criticism, and yes, they do. But what they despise more than criticism is indifference. I have said it in so many videos: a narcissist’s kryptonite is indifference and unpredictability. They hate indifference from people who are doing well. The narcissist I had a session with told me, “There is this guy in my workplace. He never compliments me, never even looks at me, and everyone still loves him. How is that possible?” You could hear the bitterness in his voice. This man had done nothing wrong. The one who hadn’t complimented the narcissist hadn’t disespected him or challenged him; he had simply ignored him because he did not need him. That alone shattered the narcissist’s internal hierarchy because their entire sense of self is built on the illusion that people’s success is either because of them or in reaction to them.

You see, when someone shines on their own without playing into the narcissist’s ego, the narcissist feels obsolete, useless, and irrelevant, and for them, that is worse than being hated. You know the crazy part? The narcissist I had this conversation with suggested that I create a video or an episode around it, and that is what I’m doing today.

Trigger 3: Thriving Smeared Individuals

Number three occurs when someone they once smeared starts thriving publicly. This was the moment the narcissist’s voice shook. “There is this girl,” he said. “I told everyone she was manipulative. I made her look crazy. But now she is killing it. Everyone loves her. She is on TV now.” He paused. “It’s like none of what I did mattered.” That was the wound. No guilt, no remorse, complete irrelevance. Smearing someone is an act of psychological assassination for the narcissist. It is not about justice or closure; it’s not about truth-telling. It’s about erasing someone’s light so their own shadow does not show. But when that person returns—not just surviving but glowing—it’s like a resurrection, a divine slap in the face to everything the narcissist tried to destroy. It invalidates the only power they believe they have: the ability to control how others are seen.

You may wonder, didn’t this conversation trigger you? Because the narcissist was so aware and was telling you all these things. It did not trigger me because when I entered the session and learned I was talking to an anonymous narcissist, I made up my mind: none of it was personal for me. It was an opportunity to look into the predator’s mind and understand how they function. What was surprising, though, was the level of awareness this person had, and yet that awareness was of no use to him. I asked him, “If you know right from wrong, if you know this is not what you’re supposed to do, why are you still doing it?” He just said, “That’s who I am.” I have heard that from many narcissists I have had the opportunity to talk to: “That’s who I am. I cannot go against my nature. What I do feels right to me, and it gives me a thrill I cannot get from doing the right thing. That is boring; it does not excite me. The excitement I feel from a perceived outcome is a lot more enticing than just shutting up and saying nothing at all.”