A neurosurgeon once explained that the most important skill a person can develop is emotional control. Our brains have both a logical, reasoning part (the cerebral cortex) and an emotional, impulsive part (the limbic system). When people—especially narcissists—fail to regulate their emotions, they make irrational choices that harm their own lives.
2. They Underestimate Their Supply
Narcissists depend on their “supply”—the people they manipulate for validation, attention, and control. One of their biggest mistakes is underestimating these individuals, especially kind and empathetic people.
They assume that because you’re compassionate, you’re weak. They collapse kindness and generosity into weakness, believing that someone who is caring cannot also be strong. But this is far from the truth.
Think about Mother Teresa—she was one of the kindest and most selfless people in history, yet undeniably strong. Covert narcissists fail to recognize that kindness is not weakness, which ultimately backfires on them.
3. They Overestimate Themselves
While they underestimate others, covert narcissists grossly overestimate themselves. This is especially evident in negotiations and power struggles.
They lie constantly, assuming no one will challenge them or uncover the truth. They don’t expect anyone to document their lies, gather evidence, or strategically confront them. But when people do stand up to them, the narcissist is often blindsided.
This overconfidence leads them to take reckless risks, which ultimately come back to haunt them. The best approach? Let them underestimate you while you stay prepared—because their arrogance will eventually be their downfall.
4. They Assume You Will Always Tolerate Their Abuse
Narcissists believe that if you’ve put up with their abuse before, you always will. They assume you will never leave, no matter how much they mistreat you.
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