The next question a narcissist simply can’t answer is: “Why do you deserve this thing that you seem to feel entitled to?” They don’t have an answer because there is no answer to them; they deserve it just because they do. Right? That might be the answer that you get if you ask a narcissist this question. But if someone actually feels entitled to something, they feel that they’ve earned it, and they will have an answer for you, such as “I feel entitled to this promotion because I worked so hard to get where I am” or “I made a whole bunch of money for this company and I deserve a little bit of a raise.” A narcissist doesn’t do those things, so they might say, “Oh yeah, I worked really hard,” or something like that, but it’s not actually true. They can’t give you a true answer to why they are entitled to something because it just is. By the nature of who they are and their greatness, they feel entitled to all sorts of things, and while some narcissists value work and making money above all and are very successful, they still feel entitled to things they don’t fully deserve in other areas.
The fifth question that a narcissist simply cannot answer is: “What is love?” Another variation of this is “Why do you love me?” or “What do you love about me?” It is very difficult for a narcissist to answer this question because they don’t really have an understanding of love. They often confuse lust with love, and they definitely confuse infatuation with love. But these things are not love; they are feelings that fade away over time. This confusion is why a narcissist will so early on profess their love to you—because they think that’s what love is, but it really isn’t.
When you get to the stage where you might actually start to love someone for who they are, flaws and all, that’s when the narcissist checks out. Without sufficient emotional empathy, it’s very difficult to have deep and meaningful connections with other people. Consequently, they end up viewing relationships as very transactional. Unfortunately, because they really don’t understand what love is, they assume that no one else does either. They think that everyone else views relationships in the same way that they do.
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