They remember you as the unmatched standard everyone else gets compared to. Here’s something they will never admit: they compare everyone to you. Every new source of supply is measured against you—not because they miss you in a healthy way, but because, in their minds, you became their ideal. You were the one they could not fully break, and in a twisted way, they admire your strength.
This distorted perception creates a very weird sense of longing and frustration. They will meet someone new and think, “Will this person be as loyal, as forgiving, as resilient?” For a moment, they may put that person on a pedestal, believing they have finally found someone better than you. But it never lasts. When that person does not fight back the way you did, when they do not have your fire, the narcissist feels the lack of it. Suddenly, you’re back in their mind again—not as someone they loved, but as someone who won a battle they are still bitter about losing.
At night, they may tell themselves, “I never wanted them anyway; they were never mine to begin with.” But those are all lies. The truth is they are left clueless, carrying the bitterness of losing the battle with you. That bitterness does not go away with time, which makes them vengeful. They may self-gaslight and say, “I never wanted them anyway,” but deep down, they are haunted by the fact that nobody else quite matches the challenge you presented.
The Unfinished Lesson
Leave a Comment