Weird Habit #2: Cooking for Applause
They only cook for applause. One of the biggest misconceptions about narcissists is that they do not do acts of service. That’s not true. They absolutely do, but only when it results in admiration, attention, or power. They will cook when guests are coming over. Suddenly, they are enthusiastic, flipping through recipe blogs, lighting candles, and talking about how excited they are to host. They will make huge batches of lasagna, chocolate lava cakes, and lemon-roasted chicken thighs just to hear the compliments.
And while everyone is complimenting the meal, they will sit there quietly, pretending to be humble, when in reality, they’re soaking in the praise like it’s their oxygen. But when there’s no one around—no guests, no audience, no one to impress—they stop. Food becomes lazy, neglected, and emotionless: frozen pizza, dry toast, canned soup, or nothing at all. You realize their energy was never about feeding people; it was about feeding their ego.
Weird Habit #3: Punishing Through Food
They will use food to punish you without saying a word. This one is dark. It is one of those things that seems minor until you have experienced it over and over again to realize it’s not a coincidence, but a tactic. Narcissists do not always shout or slam doors when they’re mad at you. Sometimes they just make your life uncomfortable quietly, repeatedly. One of the ways they do this is through cooking. They will deliberately make something inedible: too much chili, no seasoning at all, undercooked chicken, a mushy salad, and they will act like everything is fine.
You will take a bite and wonder, “Uh, what happened here?” But if you say anything, they will outright deny it or act offended: “I guess nothing I do is ever good enough for you, is it?” Or worse, they’ll mock you: “I didn’t realize your palate was that sensitive.” It’s not a mistake; it’s a message. You upset them, and this is your consequence. But it is delivered so covertly that if you try to call it out, you look like the crazy one. They are punishing you in a way no one else can see, and that is exactly the point.
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