Narcissists let you struggle in public and pretend they don’t notice. You are carrying too much—maybe it’s groceries, maybe it’s your child, or maybe it is your entire nervous system hanging by a thread—and they just stand there, fully aware, fully capable, and fully choosing to do nothing. You are trying to open a door, balance everything, hold yourself together. What do they do? They watch. They don’t do it because they’re distracted; they do it because they want you to feel the weight. And here is the irony: the same narcissist who ignores you without flinching will turn around and help a complete stranger in a grocery store whose card has been declined (real-life experience). They will perform kindness in public just to prove how good they are, but when it is you who is struggling, they look away. And deep down, yes, sometimes they even enjoy watching you collapse under the pressure—hence, sadistic supply—because the moment you struggle and they choose not to step in, it’s not just physical; it is emotional exposure. You’re not just tired; you are humiliated. You’re standing in plain sight of other people, and it becomes painfully obvious to everyone around you: this person does not care about you; they are watching you drown with their hands in their pockets. And as people look on, maybe some of them begin to wonder, “Why are you doing everything alone? Why are you managing the chaos while the narcissist stands nearby, aloof, detached, and untouched by the effort you are making?” It chips away at your dignity in real time, in front of an audience that does not even realize what they are witnessing. But the real pain is not what the world can see; it is what happens inside your chest. It is the invisible collapse, it is the heartbreak that swells up when your inner child whispers, “Please help me, please, please show up, please be the one person who has my back,” and instead, they look at you like you’re a stranger, or worse, like your exhaustion is an inconvenience. Number four, before I move to:
Special Announcement: Breaking Trauma Bonds
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