They are incredibly fragile— their ego is easy to break. One tap, and it shatters into millions of pieces because they are inherently insecure. Anything can be taken as shame or criticism by them. When you touch a nerve, they don’t process it easily.
If the situation is in their favor and nobody is watching, they unleash their rage and become the monster they truly are, lashing out to “give it back” to you. However, if the environment is not conducive, they resort to more indirect yet harmful tactics to try and destroy you.
And that is exactly what we are going to discuss in this episode.
These signs are not always easy to recognize unless you are attuned to their body language and understand what’s going on beneath the surface. That’s why I encourage you to stay until the very end if you want to expose them once and for all.
Sign 1: The Mask of Fake Calmness
The first sign is that they put on a mask of fake calmness to show you they are invincible—unaffected by anything you say. They’ll pretend you can’t trigger them because you’re not “powerful enough.”
But if you pay close attention, you might notice subtle signs:
- A clenched jaw,
- Eyes turning red, or
- A tense body, as though ready to fight.
They somehow contain their rage because they know that if they let it out in that moment, everyone will see their true self. What does this tell us? It reveals that they can control their anger when they want to. They just choose not to.
When no one’s watching and you’re vulnerable, they unleash their rage. They say the most horrible things, attack you relentlessly, and bring you down without remorse. Narcissists don’t have a conscience—they only care when the consequences are severe or life-altering.
This sign helps you recognize when you’ve triggered them, even if they appear calm on the outside.
Sign 2: Backhanded Compliments
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When you touch a narcissist’s nerve, they may give you backhanded compliments—insults disguised as praise.
For instance, they might say:
“You’re so brave and strong for sharing your feelings… even when you’re wrong.”
This kind of statement is particularly common with covert narcissists, for whom image is everything. The compliment comes with a sting, leaving you confused: “Was that a compliment or an insult?”
Their intention is to subtly dismiss you while appearing composed to others. Since they can’t openly put you down, they disguise their hostility as feedback. To maintain their image of being “monk-like” or emotionally superior, they avoid saying outright:
“You are my enemy. I hate what you said.”
Instead, they deliver subliminal messages only you understand, forcing you to put on an act. If you react, they’ll label you as “crazy” or “overreacting.”
What to look for?
- A rigid smile,
- Shark-like eyes,
- Tension in their face.
If you see these signs, know that you have truly impacted them to their core.
Sign 3: Overexplaining and Word Salad
This sign is subtle yet revealing. When asked a direct question that exposes them, narcissists will begin overexplaining or spewing word salad—irrelevant, rambling responses that go in circles.
Instead of a straightforward “yes” or “no,” they’ll:
- Tell you a long, unrelated story,
- Bring up irrelevant events, like their divorce or a conversation with their child, and
- Mix in subtle messages to dismiss you or undermine your credibility.
This tactic confuses the listener and shifts focus away from the original question. They will also try to paint you as the problem, claiming:
“You’re destructive. You want to break the family. You are the enemy.”
When a narcissist uses word salad or overexplains, it’s a clear sign you’ve touched a nerve and forced them to confront something they’d rather avoid.
Sign 4: Obsession with Your Flaws
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When triggered, narcissists may become obsessed with your flaws. They zero in on your imperfections—no matter how minor—to distract others and deflect attention.
Their goal is to create a logical fallacy:
“You say I did something wrong, but what about you?”
By magnifying your insignificant flaws, they attempt to create false equivalence: “You and I are the same.” This tactic derails the conversation, making you feel defensive and causing you to forget the real issue.
If a narcissist suddenly fixates on your imperfections, it’s a failed attempt to regain control. It’s also a clear sign you’ve hit a sensitive nerve.
Sign 5: Spreading Lies and Creating Chaos
Finally, when a narcissist feels deeply insecure or jealous, they may start spreading lies and creating chaos. They’ll tell exaggerated, false stories about you to:
- Turn others against you,
- Force you to defend yourself, and
- Make you feel insignificant.
For example, they might say:
- “So-and-so is trying to destroy my life.”
- “They’re copying my work.”
- “They’re trying to steal from me.”
Their ultimate goal is to provoke you into reacting emotionally, which gives them a sense of significance. They believe that pulling you down elevates them.
But here’s the truth: If you stay calm and refuse to react, you’ll watch them self-destruct. Narcissists are their own worst enemies—you don’t need to do anything at al
Which one of these signs do you resonate with the most? Let me know in the comments.
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