When you touch a narcissist’s nerve, they may give you backhanded compliments—insults disguised as praise.
For instance, they might say:
“You’re so brave and strong for sharing your feelings… even when you’re wrong.”
This kind of statement is particularly common with covert narcissists, for whom image is everything. The compliment comes with a sting, leaving you confused: “Was that a compliment or an insult?”
Their intention is to subtly dismiss you while appearing composed to others. Since they can’t openly put you down, they disguise their hostility as feedback. To maintain their image of being “monk-like” or emotionally superior, they avoid saying outright:
“You are my enemy. I hate what you said.”
Instead, they deliver subliminal messages only you understand, forcing you to put on an act. If you react, they’ll label you as “crazy” or “overreacting.”
What to look for?
- A rigid smile,
- Shark-like eyes,
- Tension in their face.
If you see these signs, know that you have truly impacted them to their core.
Sign 3: Overexplaining and Word Salad
This sign is subtle yet revealing. When asked a direct question that exposes them, narcissists will begin overexplaining or spewing word salad—irrelevant, rambling responses that go in circles.
Instead of a straightforward “yes” or “no,” they’ll:
- Tell you a long, unrelated story,
- Bring up irrelevant events, like their divorce or a conversation with their child, and
- Mix in subtle messages to dismiss you or undermine your credibility.
This tactic confuses the listener and shifts focus away from the original question. They will also try to paint you as the problem, claiming:
“You’re destructive. You want to break the family. You are the enemy.”
When a narcissist uses word salad or overexplains, it’s a clear sign you’ve touched a nerve and forced them to confront something they’d rather avoid.
Sign 4: Obsession with Your Flaws
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