Narcissists are known as people who think superficially, those who act on impulse without reflecting on their actions first. Do you know the saying about not judging a book by its cover? It also applies to narcissists. It may not seem like it, but narcissists’ wounds run deep within their hearts. These wounds may or may not stem from their childhood, but experts have found that people with narcissistic tendencies often come from dysfunctional families with no primary guardian able to provide proper care. So, who other than themselves would they consider a role model? I think that answer is pretty obvious.
Are you one of the people who seeks a better understanding of the narcissist’s way of thinking?
5 Things That Explain How the Narcissist’s Mind Works
I’m about to show you five things that explain how the narcissist’s mind works. We’ll talk about their tendencies, from their thoughts to their behaviors.
Number 1: Narcissists Have A High Sense Of Self-Importance.
Narcissists have a high sense of self-importance. The term narcissism comes from the Greek mythology tale of someone named Narcissus. Narcissus was sentenced to a life without human love by the gods. Like Narcissus, narcissists only love themselves. When they know someone does not particularly like them, narcissists will try to impress that person. Why? Because if narcissists don’t feel special, they don’t feel okay. They have a more black-and-white mindset, believing that if they aren’t the greatest, then they aren’t anything. Being like everyone else isn’t enough for them. Living and existing in this world is nowhere near what they should achieve. Narcissists have to matter in more ways than one. The scary part is that they don’t care whether it’s for the better or worse. Being held as a dominant person is what matters to them.
Because of their high sense of self-importance, narcissists will often have unreasonable expectations of special treatment and wishes from others. It’s only normal for someone as important as them to have their requests fulfilled, or so they think. Many have tried to knock some sense into a narcissist, but doing so takes a lot of energy. In the end, it might be useless, as narcissists can only wake up from their self-made stories if they decide to do so.
Number 2: Narcissists Exaggerate Accomplishments And Talents.
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Narcissists exaggerate their accomplishments and talents. When being praised, most of us shy away from the spotlight, but not narcissists. Experts say there are two ways a narcissist will react to compliments. The first is the expected response: to be boisterous and exaggerated when receiving a compliment. To achieve that, narcissists may engage in shameful acts just to get their skills and talents noticed by others. One example is flexing while working out or taking off their shirts to dry themselves from sweat. Yes, ladies, most men who do these acts usually have narcissistic tendencies. After all, statistics show that men are more likely to have narcissism than women.
Narcissists are known to be show-offs, and when they cross the line of decency, they rub many people the wrong way. The second way narcissists take compliments is by being humble and bragging. Humble-bragging means making a modest or self-deprecating statement to draw attention to something one is proud of. For example, someone might lean on a friend’s brand-new car and, when they’re pulled away from it, say, “It’s still new” while continuously wiping the part they leaned on. Another example is someone asking for your test scores, knowing they got a higher score than you. Narcissists can be discreet and fish for compliments. These are usually the types of narcissists we don’t even doubt.
Number 3: Superiority Complex
Narcissists have a significant case of superiority complex. They believe they are far superior to everyone else, like a noble person who only associates with other nobles. Are you familiar with the caste system? It is a social class system from the 1500s where people’s access to opportunities depended on the family they were born into. To understand the narcissist’s take when socializing, you should consider how the caste system worked. Narcissists are like the caste system; they differentiate people into groups of the highest and the lowest. This way, they know who to befriend and who to devour.
A superiority complex also refers to a superior attitude that conceals actual feelings of inferiority and failure. As a result, people mistakenly believe that someone with constant narcissistic tendencies has high self-esteem, when in fact, they do not. Narcissists cling to their superiority because it is their only way to express what they truly feel about themselves. Their arrogance might be a coping mechanism to protect them from feeling vulnerable and weak.
Number 4: Envy of Others or Believing Others Are Envious of Them.
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Narcissists are jealous people. They don’t want to be left behind in a group. If someone gets a new motorcycle, narcissists must have one too, but nicer and cooler than the one their competitor bought, even if there’s no real competition. Narcissists often pick fights with people they consider competitors, although most of these competitors are unaware of the one-sided battle. Once narcissists feel they’ve outdone their competitors, they assume the competitors are envious of what they have, even though they are the ones burdened by this one-sided competition.
Narcissists’ high sense of importance also influences their thinking, instilling in them the belief that others envy them. But the reality is too scary for narcissists to face: they are often filled with jealousy and insecurity about other people’s lives. They believe their own life isn’t enough for them to survive.
Number 5: Critical Inner Voice
Are you wondering how a critical inner voice works for narcissists? This voice helps them ignore and bury their insecurities. The critical inner voice is a destructive thought process that develops from painful experiences, shaping our perceptions of ourselves, others, and the world around us. This cruel internal coach is in charge of our negative inner dialogue. A visual representation of this is seen in movies, where a little devil-like figure whispers in your ear, or your thoughts overwhelm you to the point of fainting.
However, critical inner voices can also be self-soothing and self-aggrandizing. Most narcissists direct their critical inner voices toward others, putting them down to make themselves feel better. Instead of projecting this negativity onto themselves, narcissists criticize and condemn others. As a result, they protect themselves from their own hurtful thoughts and thrive on the torment of others.
Understanding the mind of a person takes ages. We sometimes have difficulty understanding ourselves—how much harder is it to understand someone else, especially a narcissist? It could take generations to have a breakthrough in this field of study. As much as possible, we should still treat narcissists kindly; after all, they are still human beings who need constant love and care. But if you know someone with narcissistic tendencies, therapy might be a good suggestion. Don’t try to be their fixer—someone more capable than you can do that job, and that will work best with the narcissist’s cooperation.
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