5 Code Words Narcissists Use: What They Really Mean

Number 3: “No one else thinks that way. It’s just you.”
Saying “Nobody else thinks that” is incredibly narcissistic. When someone says, “Everyone else thinks this. Nobody else thinks that,” they are essentially trying to make you feel small and isolated. They want you to believe that they are the only one who could possibly care about you, creating an unhealthy dependence. It also serves to invalidate your feelings and experiences, making it seem like they don’t matter. When a narcissist states that you are the only one who thinks a certain way, they are attempting to make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid. That’s called gaslighting. It’s a sneaky move designed to make you doubt your sanity, your thoughts, and what you’ve experienced.

For instance, if you’re worried about being bullied at work, the narcissist may say, “You’re the only one who feels that way.” But guess what? You are definitely not alone in feeling that way. What the narcissist is doing is attempting to control you.

Number 4: “I’m just kidding.”
Narcissists often use humor as a shield to dodge taking responsibility. They’ll say or do something inappropriate, and if it stirs up trouble, they’ll claim, “Hey, I was just joking!” Suddenly, if you are upset, it’s because you can’t take a joke, not because they have said or done something wrong. It’s a clever way to sidestep blame and prevent you from calling out their behavior for what it truly is.

Consider this: when a narcissist cracks a joke about another person’s looks, perhaps teasing them about dieting, especially in the presence of others, it can be incredibly embarrassing and hurtful. It’s even worse if that person is suffering from an eating disorder. Comments about sensitive subjects like weight can cause significant emotional distress. Brushing it off as just a joke only exacerbates the issue, as such humor can lead to lasting hurt and trauma. But narcissists are typically indifferent to these consequences; they care more about appearing good in front of others and enjoying the thrill of putting people down. To them, the person being hurt simply can’t take a joke.

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