For instance, let’s say you’re wearing a dress, and everyone is telling you how amazing you look. However, if you ask a narcissist what they think, don’t be surprised if they undermine your confidence by saying something like, “That dress? It’s not really you. Are you sure you want to wear that?”
And it’s not just about what you wear. If you’re excited about hanging out with your friends, a narcissist might try to discourage you by saying, “Them? They’re not really good company for you.” But chances are, that’s not true. Rather, they are just trying to isolate you on purpose.
Then there’s your career. If you are enthusiastic about a certain career path, a narcissist might try to dampen your spirits and dissuade you. But it’s not because your dream job isn’t achievable; it’s just that they enjoy seeing you less passionate about your aspirations.
Number 2: “That’s not what I meant.”
A narcissist claims they didn’t intend for their words to be interpreted that way, insisting that you’ve misinterpreted them and are taking it the wrong way. Right? Wrong. This phrase serves as a way to evade taking responsibility—something narcissists excel at. They toss this phrase out there to make it seem like you have things all wrong, flipping the blame back onto you.
For example, if your narcissistic partner belittles your job and then says, “I didn’t mean it like that,” they are essentially dismissing your feelings. It’s a tactic to make you feel like you are overreacting. Similarly, if a narcissistic coworker takes credit for your work and brushes it off with, “I didn’t mean it like that; I thought we were a team,” it’s another way of overlooking your feelings and making you think you’re making a big deal out of nothing.
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