There are some betrayals in life that do not just hurt; they rearrange you. They pierce so deep into the soul that no apology, no time, and no closure can ever make you the same again. One of the most devastating of all is how a narcissist treats you during the most sacred, tender, and once-in-a-lifetime moments of your life—moments when you are supposed to be protected, celebrated, and loved. Instead, they turn joy into shame, saying into fear, and love into pain. They didn’t just hurt you in a day; no, they corrupted your memories—your pregnancy, your birth rate, that big career win, that one time you truly felt proud of yourself. They saw your light and made it their mission to dim it. Of course, not accidentally, but deliberately, strategically, without remorse. When a narcissist feels threatened by your joy, they will do anything to sabotage it. I know you know it, but they do it with a coldness that leaves scars which do not fade. So, if you are even thinking of giving them another chance, pause—not to relive the pain, but to remember who you were before they broke you. Because there are some things—and I say this with absolute certainty—that no one should ever come back from. If they have done even one of the five things I’m about to name, you do not need more time. You do not need more guilt. You do not need to keep questioning yourself or them. You need one thing: permission to walk away and never look back.
Number one: they robbed you of the beauty of pregnancy. Pregnancy is meant to be one of the most beautiful, sacred phases in a woman’s life, but with a narcissist, that beauty is turned into a battlefield. For them, pregnancy isn’t something to honor; it is a strategy. It is a finish line. Once you are pregnant, once they believe you’re trapped, they show you who they truly are. The mask slips, the charm vanishes, and suddenly you are no longer their beloved. You are a vessel, a tool, a burden. I have never met a narcissist who did not sabotage the pregnancy experience in some form, and they do it with precision. They cheat while you are pregnant—not because they are starved for affection, but because they want to humiliate you at your most vulnerable. They want you to feel unlovable while you are performing the most sacred act a body can endure. They mock your cravings, dismiss your exhaustion, roll their eyes at your emotions, and slowly chip away at your sense of worth. And then, just when you think it couldn’t hurt more, postpartum arrives like a storm. Your body is bleeding, your mind is spinning, you maybe haven’t slept in days, you’re sore, you’re swollen, and you’re still expected to hold everything together. But where are they? That’s the question—gone, distracted, cold, maybe sleeping with someone else while you’re handling everything. They are betraying you while you are surviving. They are withdrawing; they do not look at your body with awe or wonder for what it survived. They look at it with sheer disgust, as if it inconveniences them. They ask, “When will you lose the baby weight?” They stop touching you; they stop seeing you; they stop showing up—not because you have become less, but because your body no longer feeds their ego. And that is a part which is the most destructive: the timing of it, the cruelty of it, the way they withhold love exactly when you need it the most, the way they look away when you are silently screaming for connection. They did not just neglect you; they desecrated something holy. They turned your transformation into trauma; they stole what was supposed to be yours— the beauty, the reverence, the love—and replaced it with shame. This isn’t about mood swings or communication issues; this is pure emotional theft.
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