Number 4: They Make You Feel Hopeful.
Hope is a good thing, right? Well, not always, especially when you’re dealing with a narcissist. Their victims often cling to the hope that things will get better. That’s why it’s easy for them to think, “Maybe if I wait another year, things will change. Or maybe when they get that promotion or start making more money, they’ll treat me better.” No matter what horrors they experience because of the narcissist, the idea of things eventually changing gives them hope, and they hold onto that idea tightly.
But here’s the hard truth: that hope is often manipulated by the narcissist to keep you stuck and focused on a future that’s never going to happen. You constantly lower your expectations and convince yourself to wait it out. Things are bound to get better if you stick with them, right? Well, they’re doing the same, but in their own way. For instance, they keep making promises like, “Just give me another year, and things will improve between us.” So, you hold on to that promise.
Once that date arrives and nothing has changed, you just tell yourself to wait it out again. They promised, after all, so they’re bound to fulfill it eventually, right? But let’s be honest: nothing will change. The promises are hollow, and the cycle just repeats until you end it. Narcissists often use the phrase, “It’s never going to happen again,” to pull you back in, especially once they sense you’ve started doubting their promises.
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Now, saying that phrase sounds like they’re owning up to their mistakes, right? It gives you hope that maybe, just maybe, things will be different this time. But here’s the hard truth: it’s not about real change. What they’re really saying is, “You’re not important enough for me to actually change right now.” So, they’re not really taking responsibility for their actions; they’re just manipulating your hope to keep you stuck in the toxic cycle with them.
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