4 Tactics Covert Narcissist Uses To Make you the Villain
I always say this: the most dangerous type of narcissist is the covert narcissist. Why? Because the abuse they are capable of inflicting is on a completely different level. I’m not speaking from theory; I haven’t read it somewhere—I’m speaking from experience. I have lived it, survived it, and seen what it can do to your mind, body, and soul.
With an overt narcissist, the manipulation is obvious. If you step back and stay objective, you can name it, point at it, and see they’re wrong. You can say, “This is not okay.” Yes, it takes time, but with a covert narcissist, the gaslighting is so extreme and so subtle that you do not even feel like you’re being gaslit. You actually start to believe that you are the abuser, the perpetrator. You believe you are the problem, that you are a terrible human being who does not deserve to live. You begin apologizing for existing, for breathing, and for taking up space.
I mention this because I have lived it. I have experienced it with my mother and with many covert narcissists who are all the same. I am here to tell you about the introduction to covert narcissistic abuse. When they use the four tactics I am about to share in this episode, you stand no chance at preserving your sanity unless you wake up to what they are doing. Without awareness of these tactics, you will slowly lose your grip on reality.
So, I’m going to walk you through exactly how a covert narcissist secretly turns you into a villain and why this is one of the most dangerous forms of gaslighting you will ever face.
Tactic 1: Sadistic Self-Deprecation
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