4 Secrets to OUTSMART a Narcissist in Any Conversation -

You’re not just dealing with a difficult person when you argue with a narcissist. You are up against a demon who is willing to stoop to any level to prove you are wrong. This is my personal experience. You are trying to communicate truthfully with a person who is led by falsity, has no values, and is entirely disconnected from integrity. It’s not a fair fight, which is why you need to equip yourself with strategies that dismantle their control, protect your peace, and, most importantly, leave them grappling with their own insecurities.

Let’s talk about four such strategies to handle a narcissist in an argument. These strategies will help you go beyond the surface and get to the core of how to truly win. So stay until the very end.

Strategy 1: Recognize the Child Within

Number one, recognize that you are dealing with a child, not an adult. This set me free. Here is the foundation for everything that I’m about to tell you: a narcissist is not emotionally mature enough to talk to you. They may have a job, a family, or a certain level of success, but inside, they are a scared, reactive, demon child.

And you know how children are—they do not argue to understand; they argue to win. It’s a sick game of power and control. They throw tantrums, twist facts, and lash out when they feel threatened.

Let’s say you are at a family gathering, and a narcissist accuses you of being selfish for not helping with something. Let’s say it’s your mother, who always wants to put you down. They never ask you for help, but they still blame you. They’re loud and dramatic, trying to pull everybody’s attention toward their narrative and pretending to be the biggest victim in the room.

What you do not have to do is drown in the flood of emotions they try to trigger in you. Do not ask why they are doing what they are doing. Just simply see it as it is, so that you will not step on their crap. You need to stay calm and connected with your body. Respond in a neutral tone.

Say something like, “I really wonder what all these people must be thinking about you. On one hand, you have a great reputation. But on the other, you’re letting it all fall apart like that?”

Bring it back to them. Make it about their ego. Make them feel exposed. Yes, I’m saying shame them, but in a very subtle way. Why? Well, if you make them aware of who they are, how they’re functioning, and how that does not match who they want to be seen as, you can trigger their instant collapse, or at least some subservience, compliance, and a positive shift in their behavior that will work for you.

In this situation, that narcissist may go silent, and you might notice them going into a deep, thought-filled state, wondering, “Oh, probably that doesn’t look good on me,” which means it does not get me the type of supply that I want. So they will shut down. I have personally tried this; it works best on covert narcissists or other types of narcissists who are super sensitive about their reputation and image.