3 Predictable Moves Narcissists Make When You Cut Them Off for Good

The cycle of narcissistic abuse has three main phases:

  1. Idealization – The narcissist showers you with praise and affection (love bombing).
  2. Devaluation – They begin to belittle, blame, and manipulate you.
  3. Discard – They abandon or push you away when you are no longer useful to them.

The process is riddled with gaslighting, projection, and deceit, keeping you trapped in a loop. If you allow the narcissist back into your life, you risk restarting the cycle, which only becomes more painful with each iteration. The emotional, psychological, and even financial toll worsens over time.


Hoovering and Flying Monkeys

Narcissists are relentless and may use flying monkeys—people like family members, friends, or colleagues—to manipulate you. These individuals often have incomplete or biased information and may unwittingly (or intentionally) advocate for the narcissist, urging you to reconnect.

If hoovering and flying monkeys fail, the narcissist may resort to smear campaigns. They will attempt to tarnish your reputation by spreading lies and portraying you as the villain. This is their way of controlling how others perceive you when they can no longer control or manipulate you directly.

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