Have you ever felt like someone was trying to break you down and control you?
If so, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
The truth is, narcissists are notorious for using various dirty tactics on their chosen victims. In this article, we’re going to expose 12 of their favorite tactics. These strategies are often so subtle and sneaky that recognizing them can be difficult—until it’s too late.
People often dismiss these behaviors, thinking they’re one-time occurrences, without realizing they happen repeatedly. Even worse, many don’t understand that these actions are a narcissist’s way of manipulating them.
So, let’s dive in and learn how to identify these tactics so you can protect yourself.
1. They Love-Bomb You
At the start of a romantic relationship, a narcissist may “love-bomb” you. They’ll overwhelm you with compliments, gifts, and sweet gestures. But the truth is, these acts aren’t as genuine as they seem—they’re part of a manipulative “chameleon effect.” Love-bombing is a strategy to win your trust and gain control.
2. They Show Disinterest in Your Interests
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If you love a particular type of music or have a favorite hobby, a narcissist might dismiss it, acting as if it doesn’t matter. They might even say things like, “So what? Why should I care about what you’re interested in?” It gets worse when you pursue that interest—they’ll criticize or judge you for simply enjoying what you love.
3. They Isolate You From Others
Narcissists often try to cut you off from your support system. Whether it’s friends, family, or coworkers who genuinely care about you, they’ll find sneaky ways to create distance between you and them—often without you noticing at first.
They might suggest that you don’t need those relationships or even spread lies to sabotage them. Their ultimate goal? To isolate you from the people who bring positivity and support into your life so they can have complete control over you.
4. They Turn People Against You
This tactic ties into isolation. Narcissists may actively turn your loved ones against you, twisting the narrative to make you look like the bad guy while portraying themselves as the victim.
For example, they might say things like, “I’m the better person in this family. That person doesn’t stop hurting others,” when the truth is the opposite. In cases involving children, they may engage in parental alienation, making themselves seem like the perfect parent while undermining you.
5. They Disregard Your Preferences and Boundaries
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Narcissists don’t respect boundaries or individuality. To them, your preferences are inconveniences. They expect you to comply with their desires, which can erode your sense of self over time, making you dependent on them for validation and approval.
6. They Demand Loyalty
Narcissists often demand unwavering loyalty, and if they can’t have that, they’ll settle for submission. They want control and will find subtle ways to assert their dominance, ensuring you never forget they’re in charge.
7. They Pressure You to Conform
A narcissist will push you to fit their mold, saying things like, “You need to think like me.” If you resist, they’ll push harder, trying to strip away your individuality. Their goal is for you to see things their way and agree with them, leaving no room for your own perspective.
8. They Play the Victim
To avoid accountability, narcissists often play the victim. They’ll say things like, “You’re the one always attacking me,” or “I didn’t do anything wrong,” to deflect blame and maintain their image of perfection. In their narrative, they’re always the victim, making you the villain.
9. They Ridicule You
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Narcissists use words, gestures, and nonverbal cues—like eye-rolling or sighing—to ridicule and diminish your worth. These actions are designed to break your spirit and convey the message that you don’t matter.
10. They Question Your Ideas and Reasoning
Narcissists often make you doubt your thoughts by responding with condescending questions like, “Why would you even think that? No one else sees it that way.” This subtle undermining chips away at your confidence and perspective.
11. They Oppose Your Beliefs
Narcissists love invalidating your opinions. If you express a viewpoint, they might respond with, “Let me tell you why you’re wrong.” They thrive on arguments and aim to “win,” disregarding your perspective entirely. Their passive-aggressive tactics, like shutting down emotionally, further keep you off balance.
12. They Constantly Correct You
For narcissists, being “right” is more important than being kind. They constantly point out your mistakes, not out of care but to boost their ego. Correcting you is about asserting superiority and maintaining control.
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