10 Weird Gestures Common Among Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

How to Cope: Practice gentle eye exercises to calm your nervous system and release pent-up tension.

3. Flinching at Loud Noises or Sudden Movements

Being around a narcissist for an extended period can rewire your brain to be on high alert. If someone suddenly speaks loudly or moves quickly, you might instinctively flinch, as if dodging an incoming threat. This reaction occurs even when no real danger is present.

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert, explains that trauma leaves people in a heightened state of alertness. Even in safe environments, your nervous system may continue reacting as if you’re in danger.

How to Cope: Gradually expose yourself to these stimuli in a controlled setting while practicing grounding techniques to retrain your nervous system to feel safe and relaxed.

4. Twisting or Pulling at Their Earlobes

If you find yourself twisting or pulling at your earlobes, it may be a subconscious way of coping with anxiety caused by narcissistic abuse. This self-soothing behavior often arises during stressful moments.

Dr. Judith Herman notes that survivors frequently develop such gestures when feeling overwhelmed. While it may seem odd, it is simply a way to seek comfort amid chaos.

How to Cope: Replace this habit with healthier self-soothing techniques, such as squeezing a stress ball or practicing mindful breathing.

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