Another phrase narcissists love to say is, “You’re lucky I put up with you.” Another variation is, “You’ll never find someone like me.” Ideally, you should respond, “I sure hope not!” This is an insult; it can attack someone’s character and self-worth. Because if you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist, your self-worth is probably already suffering. Essentially, they’re saying, “You’re worthless, and no one else is going to want you, so you’re lucky I put up with you.”
I know that some of you may say you’ve expressed this during your relationship with a narcissist: “You’re lucky I put up with you,” because they bring so much drama and turmoil to the table. It’s understandable, but try to look at it this way: at the very least, this phrase is a sign that this relationship is not healthy.
Another thing narcissists often say is, “You’re overthinking things.” They say this because they want you to stop thinking about whatever it is they’re not telling you. In relationships with narcissists, there’s often a lot left unsaid, which we can refer to as lies of omission. These are things that, if you knew, would make you pack your bags, leave, or end the relationship. But since they’re not upfront with you about what they’re doing, and your intuition is lighting up—maybe you sense something is off, even if you can’t put your finger on it—that’s a recipe for overthinking.
These relationships train us into rumination. You think you’re going to figure it out and somehow find evidence to pin this person down and get the truth. But the longer you stay in a relationship like this, the worse your rumination will become. For those of you who are in relationships like this and can’t quite get out or don’t want to, in my opinion, the best defense is to focus on yourself. Work on your self-care and self-love. It’s definitely a process, but the more you love yourself, the less you’ll care about someone who chooses to treat you this way.
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