Another phrase that you’ll hear from a narcissist very often is some version of, “Oh well, that’s interesting, but you know what I find even more interesting?” They then shift the conversation to be about themselves or to something else they want to talk about. The purpose here is really just to take the spotlight away from you so they can dominate the conversation and maintain their interest. Everything has to serve the narcissist; they look at everything as transactional. If this conversation is not serving them in some way, then they’ll just shut it down, probably walk away. If you were raised to be polite and maybe a bit of a people-pleaser, you’re probably going to let this one slide. If you always find yourself in conversations like this with someone who consistently behaves this way, the best thing to do is really to see your way out. Again, the person you’re talking to probably doesn’t have the capacity to hold a conversation that doesn’t serve them or doesn’t have anything to do with them. You can try to take back control of the conversation, but really think about whether it’s worthwhile. What are you gaining, and more importantly, what are you losing? And that’s probably your time.
The next one is super interesting: “I’m sorry you feel that way.” I know that so many of you have heard this, but what makes it interesting is that there are really two definitions for the word “sorry.” Someone can say this in a very direct and honest way, or they can say it manipulatively, making it seem like they’re apologizing when they’re really not. The honest and direct way is, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I don’t believe I did anything wrong.” As long as someone is clear about that, then they are being honest and direct. Really, they’re using a different definition of the word “sorry.” It’s kind of like when we say, “I’m sorry for your loss.” The word “I’m sorry” can mean, “I have sympathy,” or it can mean, “I have accountability.” It’s really important to be able to tell the difference. If you see patterns of someone who’s not taking accountability for things they clearly should be taking accountability for, then they’re probably at least a little narcissistic.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
Leave a Comment