Narcissists definitely display very similar patterns to one another, and that is exactly why you can read so many of these articles and relate to every single thing that we talk about. So, this is going to be one of those articles. I promise you, we’re going to go through all of the common things that narcissists say, and I can bet that you have heard definitely more than one of them.
Right before we get into all the things that narcissists say and what they really mean by them, I want to point out that just because someone says one of these things doesn’t mean that they are a narcissist. You may have even said some of these things, but really, gaslighting phrases are what we’re talking about here. What we’re looking at are patterns of behavior, because all of these phrases can be very telling when there is a pattern of behavior behind them.
The first phrase is a very common gaslighting phrase: “You are too sensitive.” “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.” There are so many variations of how this can sound, but essentially, they’re saying that your feelings don’t matter. So whenever you hear a phrase like this, instead of taking it personally—as it is intended—let’s read between the lines and figure out what they really mean by that. They’re labeling you and trying to make you feel like there’s something wrong with you, but really what they mean is that your feelings are annoying to them. It doesn’t mean that you’re too sensitive; it just means that they don’t want to deal with it. Narcissists don’t have the emotional empathy to properly address your feelings or to genuinely care about them. They’re being sincere: your feelings are annoying to them. If you’re in a relationship with someone like this, it’s probably a good time to really consider whether this is something you want to continue, whether this is a trait that you’re really looking for in a partner.
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